Hello, Goodbye, Hello...

Hello?

2008-06-23T15:04:00.003+09:30

Hello--how are you
Have you been alright, through all those lonely nights,
Thats what Id say, Id tell you everything,
If youd pick up that telephone.

Hey--how you feelin
Are you still the same
Dont you realize the things we did were all for real not a dream,
I just cant believe
Theyve all faded out of view.

I look into the sky
(the love you need aint gonna see you through.)
And I wonder why
(the little things are finally coming true.)

Chorus
Telephone line, give me some time, Im living in twilight
Telephone line, give me some time, Im living in twilight

O.k. so no--ones answering,
Well cant you just let it ring a little longer
Ill just sit tight, through the shadows of the night
Let it ring for evermore.

It lazy to do this, just slap in some song lyrics in the place of my own words, I know.
But this is a loft. A spare bit of space where I keep things of little consequence without much explanation.

Hello Cara Mia, how are you?
I think you might be my sole reader now. That's ok, it's good to know your audience.

A lot has happened in these last 5 months you've been away.
There's been Love
Death
Break-ups
New Love
A few good parties
Dancing lessons
New friends
City apartments
New Bicycle
More farewells than I can bare to come to terms with all at once.
Orange and brown leaves falling everywhere
Winter stillness
Laughing with tears in my eyes

miss you so much

I'm going to look at a little room in East Brunswick tonight. If I like the room, if the tenants like me and I them then maybe I will live there. I might finally grow up. Hooray!

But I'm going to keep this space here, and continue to document myself for yours and mine own personal pleasure. Just realised I haven't taken a picture on my own camera in ages.

Need more pictures.

Hope your money runs out soon Cara.

I mean that with the best possible intentions of course.

here i am

2008-05-16T19:47:00.001+09:30

On the floating, shapeless oceans
I did all my best to smile
til your singing eyes and fingers
drew me loving into your eyes.

And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me;
Let me enfold you."

Here I am, here I am waiting to hold you.
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you here when I was full sail?

Now my foolish boat is leaning, broken love lost on your rocks.
For you sang, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.
I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.
I'm as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or shall I lie with death my bride?

Hear me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you."
"Here I am. Here I am, waiting to hold you."

But more the while, it's this

2008-05-07T22:27:00.005+09:30

Without wanting to, I was beginning to think of this again

2008-05-07T21:49:00.004+09:30

NEUTRAL TONES

We stood by a pond that winter day,
And the sun was white, as though chidden of God,
And a few leaves lay on the starving sod,
--They had fallen from an ash, and were grey.

Your eyes on me were as eyes that rove
Over tedious riddles solved years ago;
And some words played between us to and fro--
On which lost the more by our love.

The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing
Alive enough to have strength to die;
And a grin of bitterness swept thereby
Like an ominous bird a-wing....

Since then, keen lessons that love deceives,
And wrings with wrong, have shaped to me
Your face, and the God-curst sun, and a tree,
And a pond edged with greyish leaves.

THOMAS HARDY

tear and wear

2008-04-23T19:59:00.004+09:30

I need a project. Something to grow.

Early starts and late finishes are ever so slowly wearing me down. And, the mindless tedium of standing around all day everyday is slowly draining my soul. Almost crashed my car this afternoon, so vagued out by the monotony, came close enough to just plain-old driving into the side of someone at a roundabout.
I left my glasses at work today so now I can't see shit until tomorrow when I probably won't be wearing them anyway. Nothing much going on at acmi at the moment that I really need to see... hmmm, ok, there is something...OH hello.

But my last grandma has taken a funny turn and then there's some other stuff that I won't go into...
Contemplating a quiet weekend.
A long hot bath.
Might just go to one party this week. Maybe just Pony's but only because he promises biscuits.
I have work the next morning.
Always.

These last few days have been all

2008-04-16T08:29:00.003+09:30

Art openings
Latenight chinese
Dumplings accompanied by epic 80's poprock love ballads.
Beer with new friends
Big parties with noisy bands and lots of posers
watching the crazies turn up
verbal catfight with a pretend blonde in a que for the toilet - there were four toilets and only me and her in the que and I wasn't pushing in but about to unlock a toilet for her but she'd rather fight and I like to fight back sometimes (see I'm still yet to get over it - stupid strumpet, your hair offends me as a woman).

...lots of smoke and coloured light
Bowie crying in a gutter on Brunswick St at a party in front of almost strangers
Something Prince said
Warhol gives slight comfort
Stumbled back to boyfriend's place drunk, crying, falling all over the place and making a big mess of his house and everything in general.
Feel like dying
decided a slow death by not eating might be appropriate
nah, get too hungry
Patch things a bit with with Prince...hopefully

Fall hard in a place I I'm not really supposed to
Kind of awful and a bit wonderful at the same time

... fire alarm in going off at work
have to go
X

Sunday Vague

2008-03-30T18:18:00.005+10:30

I was supposed to go to an art opening thing at Utopian Slumps last night. An art opening for something by a friend of a friend about something I never really took the time to try and understand. But then I realised at the last minute that I would be at work for most of its duration anyway and so on...

Then i was supposed to go to a farewell party for my best friend's boyfriend, Josh. He's heading off to meet her in LA so they can drive off into the sunset on a big American highway to live happily ever after in Panama.

But I didn't do that either.

After that I would probably have found myself at Kim's house, maybe thrown-up in his front garden before letting myself in and getting stoned with Nathan in front of a Hendrix documentary until I passed out. Then maybe Kim would have come home from the party he went to to hang out with his exgirlfriend and he might have carried me to bed.

Could have woken up to the sound of Casey's Psytrance production this morning

But I didn't.

I went straight home from ACMI last night. Thought about staying up to watch a few episodes of Dexter with my parents but ended up in bed by 9.30. It was bliss.

Got a few sighs of disappointment from Kim sent to me via sms about my lack of attendance in his bed at 5am (which i secretly got some pleasure from) but I think it worked out better for me this way.

No hangover today, got some washing done and important bits of paper sorted.
Feel like I've got better a better hold on the reins now.

Might even do a little vacuuming later

Have a few good parties coming up soon, might be good blog material on it's way.

PS. The obsessive fan girl from the Flight of the Concords show came into acmi yesterday. I told here I loved her, she seemed to like hearing it.

I got some sleep

2008-03-27T10:35:00.002+10:30

Things are a little better today.
Don't have to put up so much of a fight to keep from crying in the screen gallery at acmi where Robert and I discuss our current relationship dramas.

I'm trying not to fall in love all over the place for once.

Trying to channel some passion into other areas of my life for once.
Like dancing, I'm gonna take up go-go dancing, get some girls togeher and maybe dance for some friends bands in ridiculous outfits if they'll have us.

Might go back to study something a little more creative soon. I'm pretty sure there's a creative bone still in there somewhere.

Anyway, every now and again I fall in love with a love song. Here is what is currently on repeat in my head at the moment.

Still tired

2008-03-18T21:24:00.004+10:30

Love life and life in general is still full of uncertainties.
Maybe if I just get some sleep things will...

Met Caitlin for lunch today.
Haven't seen her in such a long time and when I found myself perusing the shoes in Myers I realised things were getting dark. But Caitlin is a great listener and I needed someone to listen, even if it was for just 30 minutes.
We bonded over tales of lost loves and how we lost.

Just ate takeaway noodles with Brother Simon at home.
He told me how he just broke up with Chloe last night.
The strange thing was, somehow I already knew.

A cool change is on its way. Even though I admit it's possible that I have been waiting, or maybe I was just expecting for long time, I can't help but feel an awfull regret on it's imminent arrival.

I went to Thailand and now I'm back.

2008-03-15T21:38:00.003+10:30

I'll talk about it some other time.

I work at ACMI now. I sort of love it. Even though I don't do very much and get paid well for it. and I'm so incredibly tired from working about 50hrs this week with ridiculous 7am starts that I can't really be bother to think or punctuate to do your reading eyes justice.

Today a man confronted me in ACMI about an alleged conversation I had with him last week at ACMI where I apparently "called" him gay. I almost laughed it seemed so absurd and enquired as to how he thought this might have come up in the conversation with me in the ACMI foyer. He pointed to the Sesame Street-like letters that spell out 'Queer' by the escalators advertising the Queer Film festival and he said I must have thought he was gay because of the festival and because he was visiting the Game On exhibition with a male friend. All I could think to say was "but that just doesn't sound like something I'd say" while I wished a small child would fall down the stairs and start bleeding profuslely just so I didn't have to continue perhaps the most awkward conversation I think I've ever been undeservably trapped. How do you tell someone how uninterested you are about how gay or not gay they are without sounding like a member of parliment trying to closet their inherent conservatism. And then I twigged that 'game' sort of sounds like 'gay' if you aren't really listening and suggested that I may have said something about him and his friend perhaps being "a couple of GAME enthusiasts" since they'd asked me if they could have unlimited re-entry. And so I think I won and he walked away probably feeling like the idiot that I think really is. ha ha.

And then Luke T came and found me and mentioned he's going travelling and he might go visit Simon in Shanghai. And I remembered that I miss Simon. And realised that I now miss Cara too. And then I spent two hours staring at my reflection in the glass opposite me while I was working in the cloakroom. I started feeling a bit sad ... and I still do. Maybe it's just cos I've been working so much and I'm tired and haven't had time to see anyone or do anything fun since I got back.

And my love life is so... i don't know...

Graaaaah!

2008-01-25T20:51:00.000+10:30

Enough!
I'm a bit tired of everything being the same, going in cirlces, always doing the same thing over and over and each time expecting a different outcome and not getting it.
I'm not doing that anymore.

...

So you are all going to Rainbow and Big Day Out, whatever, I don't need to be a cliche at music festival to feel like I did the right thing this weekend. Mines going to be AMAZING and not expensive or overcrowed and nobody's going to cancel on me. You'll see... or at least you'll read about it here.

...

Anyway, I'm getting outta here. Thailand, yeah baby. Tickets are booked. I get two weeks of quality Cara time on the beach, in some caves, next to some limestone cliffs and in some Bangkok dirty air before she takes off again. This time it's to Panama. I know, Panama, wtf?

Then I have to come back, unfortunately.
I'm broke. I shouldn't really be going on overseas trips right now.
But maybe this will be the big year of employment, goals and ...
maybe I'll find something to do and stick to it.

I'll finally grow up and get my own place.

I'll have a little herb garden, a collection of old keys that don't open anything and an empty birdcage. I might even get a cat.
I'll invite you round all the time to show you what new things I've acquired
and when it gets late we'll put on a record and sip an exquisit muscat,
because it's my house and that's what I like.

I'll throw devine parties

Have a thousand lovers

and maybe the beginnings of a career

...

Guh, this blog is so lazy. i don't actually write like this in real life by the way.

...

Maybe my next post will be interesting.

Life after Smoko

2008-01-03T13:45:00.000+10:30

I am supposed to be going to Eurotrash tonight to supportanother one of Tim's great ideas. Tim is always doing really cool things. Sometimes I wish I was Tim. But I am too tired to party anymore. I have partied too much. I'm too tired to even blog really, see how boring my writing style is in this post? That's because I forgot to go to bed at all at some stage between the 31st of December and the 2nd of January. And now I'm a bit confused about what day it is because I usually count the days by how many sleeps I've had.

Smoko was brilliant. I would like to say more but it was a long time ago now and the highlights are slowing dimming as they become of less and less consequence. It was really well organised, I can remember that much. And some boys did try to kiss me and some did succeed. I did drink a lot of gin. I found my sleeping bag (ahem!). All the bands were really good. I fell in love with one particular frontman of Cocoa Jackson for a brief period and being the social retard that I am I decided the best move I could make at this point would be to avoid making eye contact with him over the entire weekend. The next move in my plan, Seduction Sam, (it's called Seduction Sam because Sam is the name of the lead singer of Cocoa Jackson) was to act incredibly dumb, senseless and shy when confronted with questions that might have been conversatin starters coming out of his whisker framed mouth. Seduction Sam, if carried out correctly, is supposed to make me appear deep and mysterious because it disallows to much of my boringness to seep out. I don't know why he hasn't called me.

There was another massive party at the warehouse/whouse/wale house/wail house. It was probably the best party my friends have ever thrown in the history of parties that my friends have ever thrown. It was a farewell Simon/Happy Birthday Rob party. DJ's were great, seemed like everbody there was dancing at some point. My favourite memory from the night is of Georgia sitting on the plastic lawn draped in coloured fairylights, unable to go very far because she was plugged into the wall. I believe at point Simon's housemate and I forced Simon to endure a rather clumsy lap dance in the center of the dance floor, during which, being ever the proper gentleman that he is, Simon kept his eyes firmly averted with a slightly afraid expression. I'm sorry Simon, I hope you have recovered now.

Then there was Meredith. I realised that Wally De Backer is my ideal man. Apparently he was camping only a few tents away from us but I refrained from body slamming him while he was sleeping, thinking that my slightly inebriated state might not give him the right first impression and thus destroy my chances of becoming his wife in the future.

... it is tiring recounting everything that I have done in these last few weeks...

Fastforward to NYE
It was good.
I went to Stasia's and made a friut salad for her barbecue that had noticable lack of barbecuing going on, probably due to the extreme heat and Stasia's disdain for meat. We drank G&T's and Mojitos from 6pm till 2am and then joined the rest of Fitzroy in the park. I was wearing the least amount of clothes out of eveyone there (a 50s playsuit, perfect for the traditional break in and swim in the Fitzroy pool) and because of that lots of people seemed to want to take me places. I got introduced to an incredibly handsome Brian who invited me for a ride on the front of his bike and we kissed while riding through the streets. It was kind of like that scene in Titanic but with less icebergs and more chance of getting hit by a car or running over a stray drunk, and I was on a bike not a boat and I never said anything lame like "I'm flying", and Brian is heaps better looking than Leo.

This is getting tiring.

Another post about Smoko.

2007-11-29T18:22:00.000+10:30

Smoko, Smoko, Smoko.

Camping Joy!

Yeah, PARTY IN MY BUSH! (My mother's going to be so dissapointed if she ever reads this)

Tomorrow Stasia, her brother and I head up to Smoko to live on gin and limes for a weekend.

Here is a list of what I imagine it is going to be like:

• Stasia and I will drink gin and lie down

• There will be a lot of bands that you've never heard of

• At some point people will get naked and dance

• Lots of boys from bands will try to kiss me

• I will maintain my ever elegant appearances and grace despite not having a shower for two days

• It will be very well organised

• Stasia may try to do things to me while I'm sleeping

• I might like it

• I will change my mind about how much I like it and run off with Kim to a B&B in Bright where they have showers and beds and breakfasts and expect Kim to pay.

When I return I will give you another list detailing what it was really like and you can live vicariously through me. Maybe I will even take notes while I'm there and write a proper review for a street mag and finally launch myself into the career I am destined for; proffessional party correspondant.

I still haven't found my sleeping bag.

Jenni's Sleeping Bag: Do you have it?

2007-11-28T21:28:00.000+10:30

Yeah, this'll teach me for sleeping around huh? ( My dad's already made this jibe so you don't need to... and why would I take my sleeping bag anyway?!)

...

Has anyone seen my sleeping bag?

It's blue-green on the outside and rusty red on the inside. Has a hood and should be stuffed inside a black compresable bag.

I haven't been camping since Meredith and I know I didn't leave it in the paddock there. I'm pretty sure I've left it in somebody's lounge room after crashing on a couch drunk in the early morning hours.

I want to go to Smoko on Friday and Meredith again soon and I think my sleeping bag will come in handy at both these events. So maybe you could just check your cupboards, under your beds, floor etc. Maybe it looks a lot like your sleeping bag except... maybe it's a little bit better than your sleeping bag... but maybe you think I'm kinda alright and maybe you are also alright and know that you should really return it now. I promise I won't look at you funny, I know how these things can hang around (I still need to return Simon's book, "Magic and Witchcraft", before he goes to Shanghai).

All I really care about is getting it back cos it was really expensive and my granny died in it.

Love

Jen
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooooooooooo

PS: If I find you at Smoko or Meredith in a bag that looks suspiciously like mine ... just watch out.

Smoko Details

2007-11-22T13:09:00.000+10:30

There will be time, there will be ...

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...

Hello friends and friendly readers.

Better look here for more stuff on Smoko Fest, they have details on how to get there, what to bring and what to do etc... and I ain't giving you nothin at the moment.

And you can bring your friends , if they are ok
If they aren't then maybe you are not ok and maybe you should just stay at home... or you can go to that rave that is happening at the show grounds on Saturday night with Simon Toppin instead.

I am going up on Saturday (1st Dec) sometime. Wanna come? I can drive and my car is alright. I think I might have room in my tent for one or two too ... Stasia?...

What a way to break in Summer huh?

whenever it snows

2007-11-20T22:20:00.000+10:30

" ...no, it was very quiet at ACMI today, not even Goonlight guy* was there...oh, except Tim Rogers came in and frolicked in the Memory Grid for a bit, so it was really just me and Tim Rogers in the Memory Grid and ... blahblahdiblah blah..."

(beat boxing space bandit passes between)

"You aren't very responsive today Simon"

...

"Sorry, I was just looking at this person that went past wearing a t-shirt that had 'whatever' printed in huge letters across the front...what were you saying?"

* Mean no ill-respect here Pony, it's just how my friends know of you (provider of affordable Friday night's entertainment).

Smoko Music Festival

2007-11-06T22:15:00.000+10:30

Some friends of friends of mine are organising their own little music festival

It's basically a bunch of friends having a weekend-long party on somebody's parent's land.

Lots of bands
Lots of friends
A pretty piece of earth I hear, trees, creeks and fresh air
Sausages and Beer
Even toilets!
Somody said something about prerolled joints for $2

Bands playing as according the scrap of paper I was handed last Wednesday night at a party*:

Actions of Love
Aurora
Gnomes of Zurich
Johnny Saw Horses (TBC)
You am I
Battles
Bjork

And more!

Might be the start of something
Might not
Should be good either way

Maybe I will see you there.

More information might come.

I'll write sentences when I've finished my essays.

*Subject to change

Downtime

2007-10-27T18:55:00.000+09:30

I am trying to pass a university degree that is perfectly impractical
but proportionately appropriate
for me.

I am about to complete an entire semester's worth of work in three weeks because I am ever the enfant terrible and marvelously gifted.

My social life is in lockdown as I enter my personal and self-perscribed study bootcamp run by the most sadistic bitch of them all, me. Having only my own brain to storm with is a bit like being armed with a spoon and told to dig... your own grave, but I like to think of this sort of self-flagellation as a path to inspiration.

I promise pictures and poetry when the essay marathon is over.

I also intend to station myself at Black Cat for much of this summer, commensing the moment I hand in my final piece of work. You may flock to me or not as you wish... I think I will do other things too but this is not the time for big dreams. Right now, it's just me, a spoonbrain, and a whole lot of earth that needs to moving.

Nuts

2007-10-20T18:25:00.000+09:30

Today, for a break from study and essay churning, I cracked open some wallnuts and ate them.
That might be the most novel and indulgent thing I do all this weekend.

I love you Nick Cave; I hope you know that.

2007-10-17T19:48:00.000+09:30

Text Message Received Last Night:

"It's taken a couple of episodes but I think I'm addicted to Deadwood. How was the show?"

Sent:

"He thrusted at me Simon. HE THRUSTED AT ME! My happiness is complete,"

Reply:

"I'm so happy for you! :) Was it right in YOUR FACE? I hope so."

And thus is my reveiw of the best show I have ever been to.

2007-10-01T20:29:00.000+09:30

Been bad.

2007-09-28T21:10:00.000+09:30

I've sort of gone into social hibernation at the moment, I've got some serious catching up on Uni to do.
This is because I've been tricked into working some extra long shifts at work over the semester "break", some of them 12hrs long and then I got sick so my one free day that I could have spent studying was spent in bed dreaming I was crossing the Sahara dessert with my milkplant addicted camel and strange northern lights that play music in the sky (feverdreams).

Actually that's a lie right there.

The reason I am behind in life more likely to be because of something like this:

Which lead to some things that looked a bit like this:

And this:

And so went I like this:

And did this

And all this

And it kinda desended from there into...

... I did manage to finish that bottle of vodka that I've got between my legs though...

And I went home with this:

And played stacks on with Serena and Trista while they were sleeping and I'll understand completely if they never want to speak to me again.

Also, I forgot my good friend, Liam's name for a bit ... that was more scary than awkward ... I hope he understands that I was having far to much trouble handling my own details to be concerned with anybody elses.

Person: So how old are you?

Me: Somewhere between 21 and 25.

Beat

Me: I don't know, you were at my birthday party!

I have some patching to do.

Fuck you Facebook, I've got shit to do!

2007-09-16T14:36:00.000+09:30

I've gotta stop. You know you've got a problem when you realise you have to invent limits for yourself. Limits like, "Ok, I'm only allowed to look at Facebook once in a day and only if someone has sent me a message. Poking does not count as a message."

Does save me a fortune on mobile phone costs though. All the small essays I send people via sms can now stretch even longer and costs much less. And it's sort of good for when I decide to lock myself up for a few days of serious study and writing. Good for lessoning the guiltache of loneliness brought on by self-impossed isolation. *Poke*, oh, suddenly I still feel a part of it all.

But it's a little pathetic and unheatlhy. Most unproductive activity I think I have ever taken up since I reencarnated my entire family in the Sims and developed a steamy realationship with Xanana Gusmao in Sims Hot Date. It was really lovely while it lasted but now that's over sometimes I think that if I could have the summer of 2003 back I'd like to spend it differently.

Sometimes I really do feel a little overloaded and dumbed out by it all. Like I'm missing out on some bits of realness. Sometimes I feel like Morvern Callar with her sunglasses on and walkman taped to her while she disembodies her dead boyfriend in her bathtub. Sometimes i feel like I'm lost in space. It would be nice to be able to step back from all this buzzing information space and just be a little more conscious of the physical world for while.

It would be nice also then, to be able to contribute something to the real world. Maybe I'd like to build my own story rather than live inside all these other peoples' rent free.

...

Oh god, I do write an awfull lot of inane wank don't I?!

...

2007-09-02T18:27:00.000+09:30

Cara has recently informed me that she too will soon be leaving me for Shanghai.

ok sunday

2007-09-02T17:36:00.000+09:30

Look what I found.

I could do this forever

Dear person who made this,
Who are you?

The party was great

2007-08-28T21:04:00.000+09:30

It really was.
You should have been there.

The house looked stunning. There was an indoor garden complete with astro turf and park bench. Georgia and her Industrial design buddies did wonders with the lighting. And Rob pretty much finished the building of the great cardboard dream.

My camera is busted so I have no pictures to show you.

But oh my god you should have seen the crowd. LOTS of beautiful indie boys leaning against doorways offering coy sideways glances, half checking you out, half checking if you are checking them out. I've never seen so many pairs of tight pants in one room before. (I think these were mostly the lovely Ben's friends). Plenty of pretty ladies swanning about in knockout party dresses (ME!*). Cool cats with talent aplenty rocked and beat us well into to night (Roza, your voice dazzles me! Liam, I want to have tenthousand of your babies if it's ok with Georgia. Simon, BEST SET EVA!). And I was well charmed by a few old favourites and surprise guest appearances.

Some of the presents I got:

• A copy of Anais Nin's Delta Venus
• A bottle of red
• Roses
• Nick Cave's Nocturama
• Black and white Wedgwood broach of an angel
• A fantastically ugly stuffed sock monster (an Anna Clarke handcrafted original)
• Sparkly Tights!
• China bird wistle you fill with water to make realistically annoying, high-pitch bird noises
• AN ENORMOUS RED BALL OF STRING!

The night went really damn well, so up yours all you people who imagined to worst possible scenarios for us.
The police didn't turn up once and I knew most of the people there... Well, I didn't know the guy smoking the crack pipe in the kitchen.

There were really only a few real jerks.

To the thoughtless cunts who pulled apart Georgia's shuttlecock flowers, did you know they were kinda famous and widley appreciated?

To the dickheads who stole all the pool balls, WHY?!

And to the pricks who completely destroyed my enormous red ball of string by unravelling it and spreading it all over the warehouse and up Sydney Road, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE and no I don't want to go for a walk and watch the sunrise with you EVER! We would have thrown you out of the house at 8am but stupidly we trusted you and let you stay after we went to bed. We even gave you fucking bed! That ball of string was given to me by a someone who also happens to be a good friend of one of your good friends, Marlee. Six degrees, Kevin Bacon.

Phew!

But apart from that it was a night I'm glad I'll remember for the rest of my life. Thankyou to everyone who came and made it good. And thankyou to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday in all various forms, it really made my day.

love

XX

*It's my blog about my birthday, please just let me have this one.

Just come to my fucking party.

2007-08-15T21:27:00.000+09:30

Shakespeare is Dead, Long Live Shakespeare!

2007-07-30T20:31:00.000+09:30

I gave up on him in the end.
The perfectionist in me was well and truly bludgeoned by the end of it (R.I.P.).
But in death and endings there are also new beginnings.

A Clean Slate

Simon says that all our cells completely regenerate and replace themselves within seven years. "Every seven years we are new person," says Simon.

maybe

maybe every seven years we start again,
maybe just to do it all over again

...

Simon is leaving for Shanghai in December. Says he might stay for one year or six years depending on how things go. I might not see him ever again depending on how things go. The thought of this makes me go quiet. He says it is meant to be, (his leaving for Shanghai) his best friend aparantly had a prophetic dream about it when they were in high school. Can't really argue with prophets and dreams.

...

Leigh might be coming home soon

...

I am back at uni, only just. It's week two, but I just went to my first class today and even then I was an hour late. Not really sure how this happens. Maybe it's facebook.

Sometimes I feel a bit out of touch with the kids at in my classes. Had to explain the term 'a bit of rough' to my Women Writing B tute today. Only one other student had heard the phrase before and she seemed to be somewhere in her forties. Maybe I am finally getting old.

...

I'm planning a big birthday bash with Georgia at her warehouse. I'm turning 24 on the 22nd, Georgia is 21 on the 24th and we are celebrating on the 25 in the whalehouse. There will be bands and beautiful people. I might be dressed as bunny rabbit, depending on where the crotch sits. More details to come.

...

Had a fantastic weekend. Red wine with Georgia at Kent St seemed to make everything better. Liam introduced me to ginger wine in Cooper's pale and I'm eternally grateful for it. We went to a pool party held by PR execs (Liam's cousins). Or rather, we went to a houseparty that had a pool and went for a swim. A crowd gathered to watch us get undressed, but we were told we weren't allowed to go nudie by the host and eventually people got bored with us. However, I believe it deserves to be mentioned that my underwear was well recieved. One young lad went so far as to warn me that if I rolled a spliff in the pool his "mind would explode". We left shortly after somebody offered me $50 to parade through the house naked. It got tiresome, men that easily pleased are unsatisfying and too many started singing along to Alanis Morissette. We moved onto another party that didn't have a pool or PR execs but hairier faces and a more extensive playlist. We stayed for as long as we could stand to be outside at night in the middle of winter with wet hair.

Borrowed a bed on the floor beside Liam's drumkit in the warehouse. Drifted in and out of sleep to the tune of my mobile beeping as Rob sent me messages, wondering where I was, if I got home safely, not knowing I was hidden in the dark just metres away...hmmm.

...

I'm madly in love with all my friends. Every single one of them.

...

Unfortunate Coincidence

2007-07-13T13:17:00.000+09:30

More and more I am finding this to be the case:

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying —
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

And I just noticed that Dorothy and I share the same birthday - 22nd of August, except she was born 90 years before me. I'm probably Dorothy Parker reincarnated.

Maybe this means I will get a job writing for Vogue soon.

SAD

2007-07-09T10:39:00.000+09:30

I think I will stay in bed today.
No, not all the hype of PIXAR at ACMI and the thought that I might disappoint Jim in my absense will drag me out.
I read an article about Seasonal Affective Disorder in the weekend papers and now I think I have it.
I think I need some sun. I don't get much of it these days. I'm usually up before it's light to spend a lot of time in office spaces without windows or occasionally in a dark gallery sharpening pencils in the children's corner. It seems the only spare time I have is in the dark and cold evenings which makes me just want to spend it curled up in bed with a comforting book and whatever cheap red will have me.

Been listening to a lot of Nick Cave lately
and finding meaning in taking pictures like this:

Simon says I should just think of all the infinate love, I'm not sure I know what that means or if I'd recognise it if it started humping my leg right now but it does sound nice.

Also I have an essay well and truely overdue. I kinda made it my life and now it seems I might be failing my life.

... and three parking fines unpaid

I blame the weather for this.

Blurry weekend

2007-07-03T22:34:00.000+09:30

Got a little bit drunk with workmates on Friday afternoon, a good start.
Dragged Cara with me a whole three blocks from her house to Adam and Dell's opening. Everyone was very good looking, the beer was cheap and the art was a brilliant celebration of dreamy love and sleep which is just what I need. Kim arrived with not one but TWO pretty ladies who we joined again later at Bar Open. We also went to Shingles because apparently "that's where singles meet" and took photos of ourselves smoking. Also, one of Anna's friends thinks she might have shingles.

Went to Kim, Nathan and Casey's house for a party on a Saturday night that didn't seem to ever end.
Here is a picture of me enjoying a tumbler of Sacred Hill Cabernet Merlot.

I collapsed at what i thought was a sensible hour, 5am, and got up to go home at 10.30am to find the psytrance still pulsating through my body and beyond. I think their neighbours must have died in the night.

Simon and Stasia introduced me to a rather quaint little game called spots. Yes, perhaps we should just hot-knife EVERYTHING from now on.
Went to see Pat's play at Dante's on Sunday. There was a lot of offal on stage. There was also a lot of talk and immitation of necrophylia, but hey, that's cool. Pat was quite convincing as a sex crazed taxidermist, hmmm...

Blog is strarting to resemble a shopping list interspersed with video clips... might stop there and come back when I have more time to think of something substantial.

Typolution

2007-06-25T11:44:00.000+09:30

This is what you would see if you cut open my head right now and looked inside.

Via: VideoSift

procrastinating again.

2007-06-24T18:01:00.000+09:30

I think I may have a serious problem.
I don't do nothing I just do absolutely everything other than what I'm supposed to be doing.
Lately I have been re-reading nearly all the books I own, taking lots of very long baths, drafting plans for a radio show I'd like to present but probably won't get around to, collecting ideas for a film I'd like to write and produce but probably will never have the time or money to, re-evaluating my wardrobe just to raffirm that I cannot afford much at all, writing genius poetry that I can never show anyone and taking tea with myself a little too often.

I know it's all about choice
So why can't I just make it?
And then act on it?

"Should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee?"
- Albert Camus

This is kinda nice:

About the other night...

2007-06-04T23:00:00.000+09:30

Welcome to the whalehouse

Let's mosey on down

Where can we find some men that are not entirely fucked in the heads but don't mind that we are?

What do you do?

Can you cook?

You are not like the girls in Sydney

Hilarious meat canvas

Now imagine a horse

Jimeoin asked if he could go on before me

Willyouwon'tyoudon'tyou

He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me happier than I've been for quite a while. That rhymes. Double fuck.

This rough magic

One last time

The new girlfriend

We kissed in the rain but I still love him

Blue Monday at 33 instead of 45rpm

Hideous Hearts

little deaths

(...) over crushed ice $15

2007-06-03T15:25:00.000+09:30

"What will survive of us
is love"
wrote Zelda Fitzgerald.

And we all know what happened to her.

Old thoughts

2007-06-02T21:10:00.000+09:30

... In the haze of a hangover, curled, I had the strangest sensation. I couldn't shake the odd perception that I was no longer in the present but somewhere else, far off in the future, looking back at this present. Somehow I had become unstuck and was living in a memory that I was yet to form long ago. I felt that this particular morning had already happened, was always going to happen and now always will, whatever may come of it...

What do you call that?

Secret Brother

2007-06-01T17:40:00.000+09:30

I found this on Polaniod.net
I don't know... this young man's face appears a little too freakily familiar to me.
Maybe he's just an actor and I've seen him in a movie somewhere before
But I can't shrug the idea that he looks a bit like my brother or my dad when he was much younger

Funny email - LOL!/ blog filler

2007-06-01T16:56:00.000+09:30

Dad sent this to me today:

Hi Jen,

A poster for your wall.

Laugh.

Dad

How does he know?!

If I were an artist

2007-05-28T23:06:00.000+09:30

I'd make a big art piece that is entitled "I don't get it". I can't tell you what it would be of exactly, (I know, but I can't tell you) but it would certainly be BIG.

And then I will have a follow up called "So there you go". This would make it a little more postmodern in the hope that people might think I'm just being ironic rather than sardonic and get confused by the vagueness and not feel sorry for me later when THEY finally 'get it' and I'm over it.

Yeah, I probably don't make any sense to you right now, but that was never my aim anyway.
If you think I do, you are doing it wrong.

Getting Things Done

2007-05-19T17:54:00.000+09:30

I got my essay in. I got it back.
My lecturer pulled me aside after my tute to say my work was exceptional.
There are only a few other things in life that make my heart race like it did when I got to hear that so I'm puttng the sensation up there in high regard with them.
Now I'm planning my attack on my final essay.
It feels good to have a sense of purpose at the moment.

Productivity hits an all time low.

2007-05-09T13:50:00.000+09:30

Blank walls prove to be a potential distraction.

Initiate damage control.

I am going to stop procrastinating tomorrow

2007-05-07T21:14:00.000+09:30

I worry sometimes that this will be my epitaph:

"She should have died hereafter:
There would have been time for such a word
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
WS

Hmm, I hope not.
Though I must admit, I do find the sound of all those 'tomorrows' dangerously attractive.

Perhaps this is more apt:

"Live, drink, be merry, love the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow ye may die, but alas we never do."
Dorothy Parker

...

Yes, somehow planning my burial arrangements has become a pressing task that requires more of my immediate attention than a essay that was due last week. Incredible.

I nothing am.

2007-05-02T22:41:00.000+09:30

I love that line.

I've been writing an essay on King Lear and nothing and fast going mad in the proccess.

I'm convinced Shakespeare was an existentialist

I want to be an existentialist

Nothing nothing nothing

words words words.

...

Bloody Hell, I've read a lot of bullshit over the course of my BA but this?!:

"In our own century Australian mothers and fathers in the outback have routinely eaten their infants."

Rosenberg, M., "The Masks of King Lear" (1972).

Love is a Battlefield

2007-04-23T14:54:00.000+09:30

*Kicks bottle*
*Slams door on way out*

How we ended up in Beat Mag

2007-03-23T08:48:00.000+10:30

And Lost all our Scene Points.

Not last weekend but the weekend before Luke, Simon, Rob and I went to Ffour.
Let me explain.
We had just triumphed in the kitchen over a chicken hotpot; we had emptied a box of goon; we had no money and nothing to do, Simon had heard the DJ's might be good; Rob's sister works there; I had never been to a real clubby club before and it was about time I was initiated.

We got in for free.

I was dressed completley inappropriatley. I quickly learnt that there is a uniform and my faithfull Chucks and Lee jeans were not a part of it. Shiny leopard print or pastel dresses were and heals are mandantory. Not that much attention is given to pale and freckled brunnette girls when among a flock of blonde and orange. This worked fine for me. I cannot say much for the gentlemen attending other than their arms were about as thick as their heads and all seemed to be taking part in a bucks night. We were later invited to join them at Spermint Rhino but by that stage some of us could barely see anyway.

We drank for free.

The music was mostley bad house and the crowd was boring themselves so we thought that if we just got really drunk we might be able to convince ourselves that this experience was enjoyable... We ended up throwing ice cubes from the windows down at passing pedestrians and exclaiming, " I hate you and everything you stand for!".*

We got invited into the club's offices and secret back room by a mysterious man in a black hat.

After a few more vodka sodas I lost Simon and went to the girls' toilets to watch a distressed girl struggle in her heels on the tiles, held up by her equally inebriated friend and slur "I paaaaid fiffffteen dollars to get in ear, goddamnit I'm gonna stay have fun!". I later found Simon abusing/praising (it was hard to discern) a DJ for being better than the guy on the main floor and for putting up with being put in their crappy second room.

We left just after this happened:

Social Death.

*Simon says we never actually yelled this but merely whispered it to each other, however, I prefer my version.

This is the End

2007-03-21T13:37:00.000+10:30

My good friends are being thrown out of house and home and the world is coming to an end.
Therefore I take great delight in this opportunity to dress-up as a raven and inform all good bloggers of this:

Yes, the flyer is a bit ugly but let me assure you we are all very attractive people who just want to be your friends.

Reasons you should join us:

• Our parties are always the best in Brunswick
• The geatest underground Melbourne DJ's will be playing underground
• There is a dungeon
• There might be a jumping castle
• This is the last time we do this and it's certainly something to tell your grandchildren about
• Trust me

It's the Apocalypse so please dress accordingly.

Ronan, I know you probably have Goonlight that night but perhaps you could come afterwards?

I am back

2007-02-02T09:10:00.000+10:30

I am broke.

Nothing new to report, really.

Come party with me.

Everyone will be very good looking and well dressed.

Maybe bring a beer for me and we can be friends.

Deaf Deaf are my new friends. They are broke too, but prove that stuff can still be done on no income.
Here is a reveiw of Georgia's party to give you an idea of what to brace yourself for on Saturday.

Impress Magazine 22-29.NOV.2006

NED AND THE MEDS, DEAF! DEAF!, THE TRUFFLE PIGS - HOUSE PARTY, BRUNSWICK - Written by Andy Hazel

"House parties! The odd neighbour aside, who doesn't love bands playing in a living room? This was a classic example of the sort of party that shouldn't be missed. Tonight, from between the floral sofa pushed against the wall, and a vase of artfully arranged shuttlecock 'flowers' against the other, amidst occasional power outs, dodgy sound, stubbies, cigarette smoke, raised laughter, coats, bags, earnest conversations, and about 60 audience members of varying intoxicated states, came the music.

...Then came Deaf! Deaf!. Shoving squealing mics into their amps, beating three drums (one skin broken), hacking a bass (one string broken), slicing at a guitar (two strings broken), bashing a heavily distorted keyboard and skronking three notes out of a sax, this no-wave three-piece worked in total abandon, changing instruments for each song and forcing their music through a wall of tiny amps. No question, here was what lesser bands flounder to get at. Genuine and joyous no-wave; energy that needs no melodic constraints. Tara Green, mic in one hand, beating a floor tom with other, and sounding like a burning matyr, visually and sonically galvanised their free-form noise assault. If someone could give guitarists Kieren Hagarty (sic)..and Shaun..Short (sic)..a pick before they strum their..fingers to the palm, they might..last long enough to gain a following.

...Bring on summer and..bring on more house parties..."

So I'll see you Saturday, yeah?
I like Cooper's Pale.

I got fired

2006-12-06T09:50:00.000+10:30

Yeah that's right.

They "let me go".

So I went

I packed my suitcase and grabbed my bestie and we hit the road Thelma and Louise style.

We went to Inverloch and sat in the sun.

We talked about all the boys and girls we know and listened to Neko Case really loud. The Aloe Vera plant was in flower and this is very special, so we took photos of it.

Then Cara took a picture of me in the sun.

And we tried to take pictures of both of us

Then Cara went and had a shower and left me alone with her camera.

We ate curry for dinner in the orange cafe and drank cheap wine until we were thrown out at 10 past 10.

Being unemployed is kinda fun. Now I have a myspace and tonight I'm going to play bingo at the Terminus. See ya at Meredith ... or Centrelink.

Baby, I'm BORED!

2006-10-12T20:16:00.000+09:30

I'm going to get busy.

Here is my to do list for this week:

Read more
Write more
Blob more
Buy a tent for Meredith (Yes-yes, I'm actually going this year!)
Become a supercool electronic DJ (Simon might teach me for beer)
Make homebrew for summer
Go back to Uni
Apply for volunteer work at ACMI ( I have admin, hospitality and cinema studies skills, surely there is something I can do?)
Get a haircut.
Don't get a Myspace.

We went to the beach II

2006-10-04T19:45:00.000+09:30

"No. I won't let you go to work in this dark mood.
You can't answer phones while you are in this state.
What would your invoices say?"

--Luke (some midweek morning)

We went to the beach

See

More pictures comming shortly,

more writings to follow suit.

Cara is back.

2006-09-04T20:00:00.000+09:30

LOOP TIME.

or

ONE YEAR LATER:

"A clean slate."

Cara came back from the continent. She simply appeared beside the bar at the cafe on Saturday morning, browned by some far away summer. I nearly ignored her for a sink of dirty dishes. Has it really been a year? Feels like only a couple of weeks and a 1/2... REALLY?!.

We saw Snakes on a Plane, ( not at Nova because it turns out it was never playing there). I thought it was dull. It didn't seem to make much sense really and could have ended after the first snake bite. Cara fell asleep. Jetlag. But it was good to drag the boys to Ruebebelons and alienate everyone by talking Literature, Philosophy and Communications; revisiting the undergraduate wankers within us.

It's been eight months of me following Luke around. Eveyday I wake-up in the bottom of an even deeper and darker well of love and there's no ladder to climb out, and I think I'll just stay down here for a while.

Kim (Luke's Kim) says time runs in a loop. The same things happen over and over again in a pattern that's not entirely unpredictable. He also says that eveything that is going to happen already has and is.

My boss cleared the blackboard wrote "A clean slate" in big chalk letters where the wine list used to be. I stared at it for nearly an hour when it got quiet, trying to draw a significant parrallel and apply meaning from those words to anything in my own life at all... but I am glad for everything...Well isn't that nice?

Wait...what just happened?

2006-08-31T21:01:00.000+09:30

Or

Nothing happens, nothing happens and then everything happens:

There goes August.

We had a party.
In a basement, filled with lights, and sheets of reflective silver paper on the ceiling. (Stacia knows how to decorate with what's at hand). When you look up it's like looking down into a pond at yourself, only backwards and you don't have to worry about drowning. We danced to elctro trancy beats with the drums turned up at my request till 10am. We all fell down in a heap of crazy love with one another, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Finally over the edge.

The sun came up as usual, but I had not seen the sky so close to white before. My heart still hurts a little when I recall wet plaster faces and such grit teeth grins. I think of tortured Picasso ladies and my frightening ambivilance towards them.

Then I had an interview.

Then I got the job.

Then I had my own birthday to contend with.

And now I have two jobs and am 23.

But it could be worse, I could be Simon. He just woke up and found himself with three jobs (a different Simon, not my Simon, not Simon O, and not Colette's dad).

Oh and here is a tag I had to beg for:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences along with these instructions.

5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

Angela Carter's Wise Children is on my desk next to me. I just bought it secondhand a couple on weeks ago, haven't had a chance to open it yet. Here goes...

"Therefore he gave me Culture.

I balked at Proust.

His sweet, befuddled head; that faded golden hair; the large, light eyes with the long lashes; the short, straight nose like the nose of Daisy's Persian cat; the soft, weak mouth indictive of that guitly sensuality so charateristic, I've found, of the North American temperment - that is, they like it, all right, but, all the same, they think it's going tp give them hairy palms.

Attracted as he was to my conspicuous unrefinment, all the same Irish thought it would only make sleeping with me all right in the end if we could read Henry James, together, afterwards, and I was nothing loath because there'd been precious little time for book-learnng in my short life as I'd been earning a living from age twelve and sometimes Irish, when he remembered that, would forgive me everything."

hmmm...

Typical.

Goodnight all.

PS, Come see Snakes on a Plane with me on Saturday night at Nova, I will probably be drunk/ at my best.

I am taking sick leave

2006-08-03T18:52:00.000+09:30

I have a little bug. It feels like a little furry animal curled up tight inside my head, stirring occasionaly and weeping softly. Her tears come out of my nose and make my own eyes ache. I carry her with me to job interviews, sedating her with little blue pills that make me dumb.

I am getting good at talking about myself now, I almost can't feel it.

A call centre for a financial services company? How will I ever remember all the things about things I don't care much for?
How could I ever care enough? Or maybe that is just how one copes.

Oh look, a distraction!

I Fell Down

2006-07-15T16:36:00.000+09:30

8:33am Friday - I have an appointment with a temp agency. I wear my pointy heels.

Kahdoompft!

I hit the ground running for the train.

Luke, re last night's telephone converation: "I don't understand, how does any one person manage to hit all elbows and knees in one fall? Why don't you put your hands out in front of you like everyone else?"

What can I say? It's a gift.

When I fall, I fall good. I make it big and I make it loud. I groan and growl out like an animal and I love it. It is BAD, it is UNLADYLIKE! It is a surprise that frightens a little. What a thrill! My loss of control, my mistake, spontanious and in front of everyone just to prove.

"Utterly real, grandously embarrassing, four and a half stars!" - The General Public

There is a little pain, I guess. People mostly pretend not to notice; they have a train to catch; don't want to get caught in my unsightly choreography. A few boys stand back where they think I can't see them, smirking to one another. They try to hide the laugh that is mine from me, but I'm stealing it back. I'm crawling up off my belly grinning, I'll keep the bruises for a while but it is still 8:33am and the worst that I had ever imagined has already happened.

Eyes glaze over

2006-07-06T11:31:00.000+09:30

I am still here, sort of. Just avoiding the easy slide into this self-indulgent, self-destructicve place of lazy writing. Time to take off and start plotting. Need to obtain and retain some standards of some form.

Or maybe I should just 'let myself go'?

Oh, oh, there I go again.

The temptation to get drunk on and drown in your own reflection here is far too great.

I'm going out and I'm not coming back til I have something to say.

!

THERE

Ouch, I have lost myself again

2006-06-20T14:35:00.000+09:30

I don't really know what I will do with all this life and it appears there is an awful lot of it left.
I don't want to be my mother, but what am I going to do instead?
Half way through lunch I noticed the weevils in my cous cous.

I think I might break

I've been watching the finale episode of Six Feet Under and I have that last song in my head, going round and round.
Help...
... it's doing things to me ... I think...

Simon me gave a run down on all the behind-the-scenes technical aspects and difficulties they must have faced in it's making; like why it goes all jumpy and sped up when they switch from film to some kind of HD. I wanted to share my literary annalysis of David's confrontation with his red-hooded demon, but no one cares. Where are you Cara, you would care, where are you?

Luke says I shouldn't try to apply a literary annalysis to everything; like Vice Magazine, for example. - This is something we argue about, we did it again in Black Cat just yesterday. - I say you can, that everything is a text, and that reading into it all too much is what makes us human... But yes, I do see how some might think it can be a dangerous and silly thing to compare your own life with a story...maybe... and so is smoking ... and so is keeping a blob. Cheers all those things that we might do secretly or alone sometimes.

Well I'll be Rooned

2006-06-16T17:39:00.000+09:30

I went for a few quiet drinks with friends last night at the Yacht Club and then Black Cat.
Then I woke up at 6am and saw Death with a bottle of Jaegermeister inviting to sit on his lap for a bit. I declined the offer and he left me with a complimentary headache, sore eyes and what I'm pretty sure was an enormous moth with a brick tied to it's ankle frigging about inside my stomach. I wish I'd just said yes.

Three drinks and I'm out.
How does that happen?

Maybe I should have eaten more... but my boss told me I was becoming a bit of a fatty the other day.

I just got told today I am not going to be a mailroom clerk too. I feel ruined, RUINED, rooned.

Yeah, oh woe is me etc.

But really, what else is this for?

This afternoon, Luke, dragging me by the elbow along Sydney Rd to a cosy lunch at Thom Phat that would only distract me from my cold bath in hung-over misery, I thought, "Death, come back, give me a hug and let me wallow with you." And you know what, I thought he just might, but then Luke gave me a hug and my Pad Thai arrived.

The Blue Velvet Fog Stopped Working Yesterday.

2006-06-15T14:39:00.000+09:30

I was on my way to a job interview and I was going to be late.

My brother and I had to walk along Main Rd together. I carried my good shoes in a brown paper bag and let important papers fall from my folder like the last and forgotton few autumn leaves as I stuggled to keep up and my mobile went nuts.

ME: Simon, this is crap, I feel poor, I feel like that family in the "Grapes of Wrath" carrying all this stuff and looking for work, it's embarrassing.

SIMON: Yes, I hate walking along Main Rd too; I can feel everyone having a good look at me as they drive passed.

A car goes passed with a yelling head sticking out at us.

SIMON: Why do they do that, I can never understand what it is that they are saying?

ME: I bet a bus comes passed right now, we should have got a bus!

A bus goes passed

ME: Fuck

An old lady gives me an evil.

SIMON: Stop swearing!

ME: Not you. (To the old lady)

Simon I'm getting all sweaty, Simon I'm going to be smelly in my interview!

We are arriving at the station

SIMON: Don't worry you have fortyfive minutes on the train to air off, you'll be fine, here, change your shoes and I'll take your old ones home with me. Take my ticket, it'll save time buying one. Don't foget to call them on the train and apologise for being late and don't worry, you'll be fine. Goodluck!

I like my little brother, somewhere we must have changed places, he looks after me now. He's always the calm, sensible one when I'm busy constructing quaint moments of crisis. Thank you Simon.

What I need

2006-06-07T13:51:00.001+09:30

I just got back from an interview with a recruiting agency. I told them I was hoping for "...An entry level position with the opportunity to develop, (...) I'm really hoping for something like front-of-house reception and associated administrative tasks, (...) for a company with a creative edge would be a bonus." They are offering me an interview for a position as a mailroom clerk for a law firm (guh!). I wouldn't mind so much if I didn't know I could make more money pulling beers and banging out lattes and which I'd rather be doing anyway. It's a shame, I simply cannot see a future in my brief affair with the hospitality (so-called) "industry", and I was just getting to know my wines, but, it's time to move on.

I was feeling a bit lost,
So, I took Dell's advice;
I tried it.

• Jen needs to have a session or two with a therapist.
• Jen needs to be a My Little Pony!
• Jen needs a break.
• Jen needs your help
• Jennifer needs a cold shower
• Jennifer needs a smack daddy
• Jen needs to get a life
• Jenny needs to demonstrate more self control
• Jenny needs to curb her socializing in class
• DJ JEN NEEDS YOU!!!
• Jennifer needs to be in a mental health facility RIGHT NOW
• Jen needs friends
• Jen needs him
• Jen needs a new gun petition
• Jen needs more time to work through her part in the dissolution
• Jen needs to stop shopping
• Jen needs to do something with her physical self
• Jen needs to eat a meal
• Jen needs the money
• Jen needs to get over it
• Jen needs to forgive her mother
• Jen needs to find a self righteous, conspicuous "I'm better than you" charitable position.
• Jen needs your feedback

It's true, I do need to be a My Little Pony and in an "I'm better than you" position.

I new gun petition wouldn't go astray either.

But, some of this seems rather insensitive, why does my google needs list have to so immediatly call my mental stability into question?

"Smile..."

2006-05-31T11:16:00.001+09:30

"You look like a dropped peach."
- Luke

(lvl. 3, carpark overlooking Nepean Highway,
Southland,
Tuesday morning)

People still wear cargo pants, wtf

2006-05-20T21:55:00.001+09:30

Lovely Sunday night.

Began with Distress Call at the Rob Roy. Awesome. A funny old man made his way to the front and danced by himself with his eyes closed. I'd like to say this was a beautiful moment but all I could think was, "Oh, how cliche!" and roll my eyes to myself in my head. Aside from the old man, without hesistation, I say Tim was the standout star of the gig; I like it when rockstars wear their glasses, he had the sexiest guitar, he can really really play and was the only one who's guitar matched his outfit.

Met Anastacia, Simon and Georgia at Black Cat and discovered Miso. Miso, a gorgeous array of dubby- trip hoppy sounds joined by a darling, almost jazz, singer who dances and charms while supported by various strings and the sweetest percussion. We stayed for this and we'll probably come back for another dose. If you have nothing to do every second Sunday night, have little money and I don't know, maybe your pillow is too soft for early nights and giving you that sinking feeling, come out ad see ( and maybe see me see) Miso at Black Cat, it's a really good idea.

Went to the Yacht Club because they are our friends and no matter what we do there it never costs us more than $20 all together for some reason. Good for us, huh, maybe bad for business. Oh well, it was grand. Or at least, having been drinking since 5pm, we thought we were grand. Luke began to take particular interest in other patrons fashion sensibilities, when a rather ordinary individual made an appearance and shouted something suitably forgettable Luke exclaimed back and over the top "People still wear cargo pants, what the fuck?!". I know it must have been a good night because at the time we thought this was the sharpest pinnacle of wit and finnished the night somewhere around here laughing hysterically. HA Ha ha!

And also:
We have a new friend, Matt, from Louisiana (yes, it's true, a real live American just like on tv) Yay!.

Yeah, I'm kinda bored today.

2006-05-09T16:28:00.000+09:30

So here is another picture

of my favourite leg

pretty fancy

huh

Get a haircut

2006-05-08T16:06:00.000+09:30

First I thought CAKE, then I thought PINATA, then I thought, no, let's do a DRESS. But do you think I actually did any of these things? Of course not. And that, strange creature, is the beauty of the blog. Try it. Many things can be said and written, promises, musings and histories, they all get writ down. Whether or not they ever occur or mount to much is not in the PD of the blog and neither I nor the blog will be held accountable for your virtual disapointment. The plain truth has always belonged in another stratosphere that I'd rather not contend with and prefer not to acknowledge it's possible existence.

And anyway, Caitlin's party didn't need my baking and craft corner intruding, it was just dandy in itself. Lots of good people came out of the woodwork and danced to Madonna. Something got broken, somebody fell down, somebody threw up on Ewan's slab, all the prerequisites that are required so you know you are having a party were met early on. It was great, I want to do it again. Caitlin, lets have tea on friday, ok?

I'm waiting by the phone again today. Why do they tell me that they love me and then never call?

I think I need a haircut.
"Get a haircut" - that's what my Dad told me to say to Jeff Kennet if I ever saw him. I think it was for when I was performing with my primary school band in Melbourne Parliment House. Shame, Jeff never showed up. I wrote him a letter once, somethng about not needing a Grande Prix and could he consider improving hospital facilities and the Elephant encloser at the zoo. Not sure if it ever got sent. Do you think he will come back? No, me neither.

Here is a slightly out-of-focus picture of my cat.

I didn't get the job

2006-05-03T12:49:00.000+09:30

It was between me and one other person.
The one other person had some admin experience. (Pfft!)
Experience schmeariance, I say.

So my life still looks like this:

At least until next week. The same company wants to interview me on Monday for another position they have going.

But I don't even care anymore,
I think it is because of this:

Also there is Caitlin's party on Saturday, and since there have been suggested Napoleon Dynamite overtones to this apparently non themed night of frivolity, I don't know, maybe I'll bake her a cake...Or better still, a pinata!

A Room for an Interview

2006-05-02T09:54:00.000+09:30

A couple of weeks ago I sent an email to a recruiting agency stating that I am looking for an entry level position as an administration assistant. Two hours later I got a phone call that asked me if I could come into their offices for an interview and would I consider working for them. I got dressed up, bought the pointiest healed boots I could find, I made sure my hair was extra neat and smooth, no whispy bits anywhere. I imagined myself as a bubbly, outgoing , straight thinking young woman from Brighton who likes house beats and cosmopolitans, only. I considered my character's aim and desires for the upcoming scene. I was ready for a little impro.

And I went.

They put me in an empty room without without any magazines to read. I looked out the window at a beige-brown brick wall for a really long time, I thought of a lame joke to tell about the view but then thought better of it, this is serious. I looked at my reflection, but tried not to annalyse it too much. I got nervous and practised my Laban.

A knock at the door followed quickly by an entry of someone who looked just like me now. We did firm eye contact handshakes and everyone was very polite and smiley. I talked about a girl who likes working with people, under pressure, and gets excited by the word "TEAM". Another handshake and I'm in front of a computer doing a "Skills Test". PCs, are different to Macs, huh. Not to worry, they still love me... why?

Another handshake and I'm off to another office in a different street, in a similar room without any books or magazines. We talk really vaguely and in officey jargon about the job. I still have no idea what it is I actually do, but they promise me lots of training and social events. Handshake.

A few days later and I'm doing a "Psych Test" and a "Metric Test"*. I am supervised by a boy who looks like he's wearing his Dad's suit, but he gives me what I take as being a look of sympathy and says "awesome" everytime I answer a question, so I smile for him and we talk about the weather and how strange/intimidating the building is when it is all over. Handshake, slight stumble backwards.

Yesterday, another room, another interview. I spoke with many managers and other people in similar positions that I could soon be in. Everyone was just so nice, I felt as if I might be invited to go out out clubbing with them at any moment.

And that's how I got to be sitting at home, just waiting for the phone to ring, and slightly hoping in won't.

I am a little frightened of becoming a nobody in an office. A little frightened of becoming my mother.

Last night, Mum told me that she once studied Literature, Theatre, Film and Television at Uni, like me, but things happened and she had to give it up. I had not heard much of this before and I worry that these things might be genetic.

* I thought they might measure me here. Dissapointingly, it was just more questions.

I Feel Better Now

2006-04-30T17:06:00.000+09:30

I got my special cord thingy for my phone. I have to go through virtual PC to use it though, doh.

But by golly gosh this is fun

Please

I just need a moment

I have little energy today for blogging.

2006-04-27T11:27:00.000+09:30

I have been somewhat unwell. Half just wanting to die, half concerned I just might.
And also, I'm waiting for the chance to buy a special thing that connects to my phone so I can upload pictures that will illustrate my stories, because what is a blog without any pictures?...

...Well, it could be Nanashi's blog.

I think I will just hand it to the keeper today.

So may I introduce you to the enigmatic and most divine,Nanashi Travelling. No pictures, just words, good and well arranged ones. And please, take your time.

Memememememmememememememememmmmmm!

2006-04-19T21:09:00.000+09:30

I am getting into the habit of taking lots of pictures of myself with my shiny, new phone.

Look, it's me!

Went to Port Melbourne and got some Sand in my Shoes

2006-04-11T15:37:00.000+09:30

I found myself maudlining along a beach yesterday morning (strange).

Had driven my favourite, darling creature to a job interview and then realised that for at least an hour I was going to feel a bit lost. I was alone in Port Melbourne with no purpose (of all places). I walked towards the beach and trudged though the sand beside water inappropiatly in suede boots. I watched personal trainers and their trainees get stuck on stairs, forever walking up one or two steps only to reverse back down and try again. I kicked into a great pile of pippy shells. A small dog did a circle around me as it passed with it's owner. I picked up a few shells that stood out, still pippies, but in colours I like. An orange, fat man got rather undressed for the weather and public and entered the water without a flinch or flicker of self-consciousness. I looked for sea glass, but didn't find any. I lay my black velevet jacket on the sand underneath me and curled up with a book. I dozed off, just a bit.

I dream-thought about the beaches in Scotland and then about Dubrovnik.

When I woke up I was still in Port Melbourne. It was very quiet. The trainers and trainees were gone. the dog and his man had moved on, and the orange fat man was now just a head gliding across top of the water, back and forth in straight lines. I got up and ran back to my car. It had been over an hour and I was due for a parking ticket. I moved Fog to the other side of the road and found my familar. We ate chicken on the beach together and considered the seagulls warily. When we were severly outnumbered we moved to a cafe that served very well suited men and women with extra pointy shoes. Maybe some of the women's faces didn't quite match their hands and maybe I could have felt sorry for them for that, but then, they had a rather-nice-for-monday-morning bottle of wine join them at the table and seemed quite content with it all.

Luke observed that there were ships carrying tonnes of cargo appearing out of nowhere and then disapearing just the same. Nobody else seemed to care about this, much like his observation of peacocks waiting at Alphington Station.

Such an odd place to put a beach.

Dear Diary

2006-03-22T13:13:00.000+10:30

We went to the Supper Club and now I have no money.

So many parties, much of them based around the pretty people of Polly.

A previously postponed Polly Christmas Party was okay, but I had to go home and have a lie down rather earlier than my usual sign-out time - never do cope well when the drinks are free and this time the shots were coming out furiuosly on little trays.

I took my first Sunday off in months so I could actually go out on a Saturday night (Woo!). So when I was let off work @ 11pm Saturday I grabbed my bandit mask and fencing sword and headed for the big smoke like I imagined everyone else must do on a Saturday night. I arrived late but well armed for Leigh's Last Shift at Polly Party, which in the style of John Farhnam's Finale Tour, was really just the beginning of a long succession of farewell Leigh gatherings. Got to taste Cristal here (ridiculous).

A Superhero House Warming for Annastasia's Simon moving into Paul's. Just caught the very end of it at around sometime when the sun was rising after Leigh's Last Shift party. Bandit mask and fencing sword came in better use here.

Had drinks at Comfortable Chair last Wednesday, got to meet Chris's lovely girlfriend and didn't have to talk about the Commonwealth Games. I didn't get that comfortable in my chair though - the crowed was crap, apart from us of course, and some guy behind the bar asked me if I'd like a glass of milk (grrr!).

I'm sure there has been more but I forget; only just recovered from a late night @ the Supper Club. We were celebrating Chris (a different Chris) turning 30 and I was probably saying goodbye to Leigh again and again. Anyway, I learnt something that night that I'm sure is only going to destroy me financially in the future, and that is: Wine is really, really nice when you say to a waiter "here, take this money, I don't need it, and because I know nothing about wine, HERE! (handing them the wine list) You choose!" And that ladies and gentlemen is how you get yourself a really nice bottle of wine that surprises you with a Leunig cartoon on the label. (How cute!) But You must be careful when drinking wine if you are even just a little like me. Too much wine makes you think you own the world. I however, was fortunate enough to have somebody like Matt there to help me. Put me back down where I belong like a professional. Did that weird grabbing thing just above my knee, and in seconds I was on the floor, and hit my head on the table on my way back up, Ha! What fun hey?!

Oh, one last thing: Goodbye Leigh, hope Edinburgh is good to you, Bon Voyage and all that goodhappy travelling stuff. I'm Sorry I cannot come to the airport, it's a clash with Coheed and Cambria, but I promise I will still be waving to your plane this evening anyways. Look out for me if you can, I'm small I know, but I will be wearing my fluoro orange skirt so you should be able to still spot me. Goodbye, goodbye...oh (sniff).

Breakfast with Champions

2006-02-17T08:49:00.000+10:30

I've been doing some thinking. Thinking I might take a left turn. Might not go back to uni this year, might get a healthy 9-5 job for a bit. Save up some real monies and go for a wander.

Had breakfast at Montsalvat with Luke yesterday morning. He talks of watercolours, concept bands and novel ideas. I let him wear my sunglasses, makes him look like Kurt Cobain at first, then a regular beatnik and then Warhol. Then he stops talking and actually starts writing his first chapter. Gets his guitar fixed and starts packing the watercolours to take to the Grampians. And I'm coming too, we're heading to the Grampians for a few days, leaving Tuesday...I could make another attempt with charcoal, probably appropriate, but somehow it always ends up a smudgy black cloud...No, things are a little different now.

It was V day

2006-02-16T16:00:00.000+10:30

So we headed for the hills... Well Badger Creek at least. Luke and I had a lovely picnic, despite the very distinct lack of badgers. Had the park almost completely to ourselves, maybe just a few grannies dotted here and there, probably left behind since the departure of the last tour bus. I made a cake, a chocolate fudge cake, and applied my extensive stencil art skills in the form of icing sugar and heart shape, we ate it too. After meandering through Healesville, having an obligatory drink at the Healseville hotel we strolled into a nice little bottle shop that boasted an assortment of fine local and interantional wines. Thought we might find some cheap plonk to impress my folks with. We did, and very nice it was too. But also it was revealed to me once more that the world is really much more modest in size that it outwardly appears. We met Bec and Ben in the bottle shop. Bec is from Kangaroo Ground, (which makes us neighbours really) and contemplating dinner at Ginger Garlic in my hometown. Ben, it turns out, is great mates with Tom, Polly Tom, or rather, no-longer-at-Polly Tom. Ben was a bearer of a little bad news, Polly is changing it seems, the end of an era for many I think, sad really. But as an aside; Luke noted, and I think he might be right; we'll probably bump into Bec and Ben again sometime, there was that feeling, you know? Ah well, we'll see, hey.

"We should all be working with dogs"

2006-01-27T20:39:00.000+10:30

Longtime hey?
I'm sorry Kim, I realise now that it IS my responsibility to distract you from whatever it is you get paid to do in that shiny air conditioned environment.
Where have I been?
Hanging out with a cowboy who looks remarkably like the Milky Bar Kid of course.
Getting to know Brunswick quite intimately in the process. I even have my own blockbusting video card there now.
Wearing the same dress for 3 days and noting that it is getting as black as the soles of my feet. Yes, getting MESSY Dell, you would be impressed! Playing in the park until the rest of the world gets up and passes through on their way to work. Walking back to boyfiend's place at sunrise. Catching a glimpse of a smacky ho ho reflected in the window of Esprit and realising "oh that's me" before adjusting the plastic rose in my hair so that it is just so.

HAPPY INVASION DAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON!
Like most days of late, it was HOT!
Went to the Corner, it's changed huh. Had to wait for a 5 yr old to finish with the pool table before we could have a go.

Things are grand, see:

***
Sitting on a rooftop yesterday evening, I watched a trail of blacksmoke creep accross the sky just beneath the clouds. But then it got dark quickly and it was almost impossible to see.

Taken

2006-01-16T16:21:00.000+10:30

So we went to the zoo. The monkies were ok but the elephants were the best. And now a boy is painting an elephant on his wall. Look.

Pictures are a bit dodge I know, camera phones are not fantastic and I admit I am no pro with the techno.

It's just in beginning stages, but isn't it clever? I secretly think the elephant should be white, but since my demands for a bed-in were met with parallels being drawn between Yoko and I I'm keeping my mouth shut about artistic pursuits for a bit. Don't want to break up the band.

More updates on interior decorating of the studio and other schemes to come. Stay tuned folks.

Hi Cara

2006-01-12T17:56:00.000+10:30

Thanks for these pretty pics.My blob's a little thirsty for pictures at the moment, sad cos that's my favourite thing about other peoples' blogs. Soon I will get a digi camera, don't worry, and then there will be less words and more pictures, mostly of me, and my feet, you can be sure.

A Christmas dinner with your family with you not there except via satelite was intriguing. Like celebrating a ghostly presence really. Oh, I'm becoming morbid again, I'm sorry. I have a Friday 13th exam tomorrow, I'm freaking out just a tad. It's for my Humour, Comedy and Culture subject, don't laugh. I shouldn't be here really, should be memorising Freud's half-baked ramblings on humour, ready to churn them out with gusto when they ask me "What's so great about Woody Allen anyway" - Seriously these are the kind of essay questions I tackle these days. This is rock the world (to sleep) research.

Postmodern/Postcaring
X

Kidnapped

2005-12-27T10:19:00.000+10:30

It's a little motif that's been running through my life lately. People seem to want to take me places these days and I'm not used to being taken. Today I'm being taken to the zoo by a boy who looks a little like Harry Potter...well he has blond hair and tatoos but asides from that...maybe if you shut your eyes. Anyway both his parents are magicians and I like animals and magic so it's hard for me to say no.

Went to see The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe yesterday, even though it is for Christians. Goddam that lion is wonderous, I just want to hug him, and Tilda Swinton's hair looks better than ever, but above all: Mr Tumnus is sexy. Unfortunatley the children were a bit annoying, somehow Lucy managed to ruin huge chunks of most scenes with her smartarse comebacks and general air of goody-two shoes smugness. Peter is a knob. But Edmund was much more likeable than I imagined from the books, perhaps just by comparison with the others and perhaps just because he looks like a long lost brother of mine. Leigh pointed out that this film must have been difficult to make since they have worked with both animals and children at the same time, often in the same scene. However I think the children we CGIed in later in some post production trickery.

I caught up with a lot of relatives on Christmas day. Lot's of people are having babies at the moment. I got invites to stay in places all round the world. London sounds exciting but I'm a bit dubious about Dubai. I also got news about family members that I missed in the papers. My cousin's husband was nearly kidnapped in Afganistan a few days ago, while flogging some satellite communications stuff while in the city. Strange men drove into the back of his car and chased him. But he had some British armed guards of some description with him that got out of the car and apparently fired a few shots and scared them away. Some people say "wow, exciting stuff happens in your family", but I think I could do with a little less excitement.

Polly Parties are Good. And I'm not particularly interested in grammar at the moment.

2005-12-19T15:38:00.000+10:30

People get very friendly. So I made a lot of new friends. I talk nonsense to Enzo and he doesn't mind, in fact I think he likes it. Murray is always a cowboy and a perfect gentleman simultaneously. Dave recognised me from a Radiohead concert that was a long time ago. Wow, ego boost. Seth is back in town and wants to take the boys sailing, hope I get an invite even though I'm a girl. I'm a good sailor you know. Runs in my blood. I met Adam at his 25th birthday party, he lives in a converted pub. There is a well in the cellar for some reason. Everyone went to the Eltham Fruitbowl when they were 14-15 except me. Everyone seems to have an enormous tv from the sixties except me. There is lots I don't have at the moment. Cookie is getting married soon.Hooray for Cookie. Matt is leaving Polly very soon. Boo for Matt, well not really...well yeah actually a bit. Hannah is very generous and looks after you when it all gets too much. Let's you stay in her house and you don't even have to ask. She's also the perfect host, and smiles at you in the morning no matter what you look like. She hosts a Ladies Day every Monday, I want in. Tom is kind too. Poor Tom got very tired and had to have a lie down on the floor behind the bar. Must stop assuming friends are dead just because they aren't answering their phone. There are other possible explanations. Just because you think you can moonwalk doesn't necessarily make it so. Rolling spliffs is much easier than people make out. But it's nice when people regard you highly at parties for such a learnable skill. Some rabbits are quite sociable. It is possible to survive a few days on nothing but beer, wine and various spirits and cocktails. But it starts to hurt after a while. Chin up, there'll be more tonight.

Diana of the Hunt

2005-12-13T09:56:00.000+10:30

A quiet weekend. Mum showed me the Koran of diet books, the CSIRO diet. I've been trying it for fun. It's been three days now, but I'm finding it hard to keep up, I just can't eat that much. Also you are only allowed two glasses of wine a week. Mum says she'll be going by her own interpretation. Dad's interpretation seems to be something along the lines of replacing allowed food units with units of wine. Says he's been feeling very good lately.

Apart from observing this new religion I've been pretty sensisble lately.

But then somebody threw a pizza at my car on Friday night while I was working. A blatant personal attack that rocked my sensibilities somewhat.

On Saturday while washing the pizza off my car Leigh and Kim turned up. We sat in the sun drinking tea and observed how once again we were not at Meredith. We discussed Lily's film, her general brilliance at everything and how she is "one to watch" according to The Age (Lily, we are watching you). The issue of a cat outshinning us in life was also brought up but not elaborated on.

Leigh reckons he'll start a Mediocrity Club.
I wrote the manifesto:
One must not achieve...Much

But Leigh says I can't join. Nice guy.

I had dinner at Cara's mum's house. Mad and Simon O came too. We all got to hear Cara's voice for the first time in a long time. Hello Cara. One day of undergraduatness left hey? Congratulations, most smart and accomplished cookie X.

Was working for the boss on Sunday again. He had a Christmas party for his family at the bar. His aunty is Elaine McInnon, so I kept my eyes open, but saw no famous people. So I broke a latte glass, somebody yelled, "taxi!", boss yelled, "centrelink!", and I got scared.

The boys came round again and took my mind away from such dark possibilities. We saw Harry Potter. I didn't understand much but it did make me go blank for a bit. CGI overdose. And I wanted to hear more about the dragons. Apparently, there are books to read and 3 more movies to be watched. I guess I was a little under researched for the subject.

Highlight of the weekend: A possum kissed my toe.

When the movie was over Kim found a wand and picked it up.
I lit a cigarette and we all saw something move in the distance. Something rat-like in the carpark. It was my mission to touch it. The boys stood back, I was fearless. Kim yelled "No, be careful!" and the rat turned into a baby ringtail possum.
Leigh warned, "Those things can be vicious."
I called over my shoulder, "Don't worry, I've done this before."

And the possum kissed my toe.

Nothing to read here.

2005-12-07T10:11:00.000+10:30

No new thoughts
Forgotten old ones.

Just a few small hopes for the day.

Let's clean up this mess.
Put on dress
Take an armful of fresh herbs to the boss
See if you can make him smile
After meandering through bookshop reading first sentences
Actually buy a book
Finish overdue Fawlty Towers essay
Make a Waldorf salad
Finish and post psycadelic rock mix to Xara
Run with the whippet along the aquaduct
Start scheming how you will win those tickets to the Wolfmother gig at the Corner
Consider offering sexual favours to whoever answers the phone at the radio station
Or whoever is on the door that night
Nah, need to save it for the band
...
Stop fantasizing
Put on dress
Harvest herbs
Wish me luck

Some degree of Kevin Bacon

2005-12-05T11:08:00.001+10:30

This blog brings people together.

It has been revealed that

James

has met

Simon

Wow!

Community Service Annoucement

2005-11-30T09:37:00.000+10:30

Dirty Pretty Things has a gig!

Come support them support Motor Vehicle Sundown and Fur Patrol @ the Old Bar on the 9th of December.

They are the original. Preceded the film they clearly inspired.

They are very dirtypretty.

They are very gifted, musical things.

I might be there, so stalkers this is your head start.

This is for Simon O

2005-11-28T10:19:00.000+10:30

Not too long ago AC/DC Lane was mentioned in conversation at Rue Bebelons. I forget why, All I remember is that I interupted with something about bloggers and Knifey and then someone might have interupted me with something sarcastic like "Boggers? Ha!". Or maybe they didn't and maybe everyone just sat there silently while I banged on with "Did you know, that according to Knifey, stencils are out and post-ups are the next big thing to hit the backstreets?!" And then maybe a tumble weed rolled past.

Well Simon O, I thought you might be interested, so here's Knifey!

My life is a mess, my hair is a mess, ohwell.

2005-11-24T13:11:00.000+10:30

Greg was 22 on the 22nd, how excitment! And to celebrate we went out last night and did stuff, all on whims - which i think is the best and only way to do things in this current emotional climate. Much of the best cannot be blogged or captured on camera because it is of the stuff that dwindles the moment you touch it...or maybe I just dreamt it.

At some point Greg may have expressed a desire to go the the St Andrews Pub for a parma.*

We went to the Short Crap Film Festival @ Loop. Some films were actually crap, but they were all short.

We went to Ding Dong (mostly because I had never been before and something had to be done about that), it was quiet, maybe because the band sounded like Creed or maybe cos it was Wednesday. A shot of Jaeger brought tears to my eyes. I walked into the boys toilets by accident (seems to be happening to me a lot lately), nothing lewd happening like at Revolter so this time I just turned around and went to the girls.

Greg and Kylie began to make the long trek home at a sensible hour - work in the morning & post exam stress.

Kim and I decided we needed more. We went to Polly for a change. People there claimed that I went to school with them, they seemed to know a lot about the school and kim and i so i took their word for it. One of them was doing magic tricks. By this stage drinks seemed to be coming fast and out of nowhere (oh, except, of course, for the drinks that you, leigh, poured for me, i always notice those) so i asked if they could make themselves disapear, and you know what? They did.

I met the gorgeous Kate. And when i did she said "Finally", which I thought was such a nice thing to say that I think it deserve a mention.

I flipped my first bird ever, but only cos Brad asked so politely. It was a night of firsts.

Then it got ugly. I found myself behind the bar in a scottish accent. It was at this point Leigh decided it was time to take me home.

Zoooooooom, I think we flew home. Ani was very loud, we were very loud. We flew home smiling and singing, kicking and squealing. I pronounced that "Fuck You" was my favourite Ani song, i don't know why. Somehow one last bottle of beer made it with us into the car.

Then I crash landed home and these were the last words i wrote:

" I smash home as if I weren't.
The door slides,
I don't feel that I would choose a door
that slides.
My ears are full,
brimming and ringing,
Mind packed with cotton wool.
I am not here
by choice
I see
and I see my handwriting.
Would I really choose this style?
How much of this is mine?
...I think i will be sick"

GENIUS

See I always knew there was a poet in me somewhere, i was just never drunk enough...no, I was.

Ha XX

*Sorry greg, maybe when it's not your birthday.

And now for something completely stupid

2005-11-23T10:29:00.000+10:30

AFTER THE FORMAL AFTER-PARTY
BY CARA

Police
mer mer mer mer
no Scott
lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop
I'm going to take all my music to Alice's party
ok
we can finally have something worth listening to
yeAH
I love snoopy
easy steps
I quit
I QUIT
I think i've played it before
ruby
jenni can control the heating in her room
it heats up EVERYTHING
cleopatra
elizabeth taylor
jennifer amanda walsh
lauren maree sharp
cara elise schultz
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
merity mer mer mer
I'm going to the zoo for my birthday
hey hey hey
why?
ok
I am so tired
i've never been so drunk in my life
NOT
I want a lesbian candle
in purple
quoi?
meep
meep
meep
let's not rehash it
gumnut baby
get in my belly
mo, momomomomom
wally bob
@start.com.au
narnee noo
I want solitaire
cos it was a pub and we were in grade 6
we had lunch outside
fat and scary men
that's the country for you
beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer
the drunken mistakes of our past
at least you got some
lurrrvin
police
that's what I think
I do not think therefore I am a moustache
I had a good time in the limo
she has issues
no one will have done it
brr
no don't walk
far too much effort
freaky chesty thing.

The Jenni Penny

2005-11-10T11:09:00.000+10:30

Or

The Jepenny

Or

A Very Shaggy Dog

© 2001: First appeared on a scrap of paper, in a high school of the northeastern suburbs, one lunchtime.

Once, a girl named Jenni decided to create a new form of currency. She told her friend with much excitement, “Cara, I’ve just made a jepenny!”

This sparked the beginning of a revolutionary revolution that became known as the Revolutionary Jennifernization Revolution. This was a process similar to the Balkanization in Yugoslavia and parts of Indonesia (apparently). When Jenni heard this amazing fact, she said, “Wow!”

The jepenny consisted of only one small coin, thus making it one of the most highly sought after collectors’ items in the history of the world. Only having one coin in a currency is crucial to understanding the fundamental existentialism of Jenni’s ideology*. Within this ideology, Maths, numbers, time and anything sensical or linear is considered “Bad!”, however, this “badness” can only ever be understood as subjective, as Jenni’s friend, Cara pointed out.

Surely the very meaning of your ideology is centred around personal choice and hence this dismissal of maths and science as “bad” is perfectly in line with this. “Sorry” Cara said, “I Just argued my own point and yours simultaneously, freakshow!”

*Jennism, similar to McCarthyism in Cold War America

Just one last snap before you go.

2005-11-05T15:46:00.000+10:30

Cara Xara, for all your tales of travel and adventure, let me put it into the words of Collette's Japanese exchange student: "I envy you!"

Reply

2005-10-25T16:32:00.000+09:30

Nanashi X,

What a nice name. Thank you, thank you. You keep me going. I just wandered off away from my desk for just a mo came back and there you are. Thank you for keeping a boat for me.

I started making plans for a hopeless film I will one day write and make Simon help me produce. I have quite a few nice scenes in my head but it's all Garden State esq (very disjointed and undeveloped - crap) and without the Hollywood wrap-up ending that seems to be provisional. Involves a lot of emprisonment behind pool fences and other suburban atrocities. If people say it's boring I'll justify it by saying that it's meant to be.

That fuck-off awful party shop replacing Liquor Land on the most prominant corner. I know, I know! Is this really what people want? Maybe. I think it's time to go.
I have grand plans. Thinking I'll be all grown up and moved out by June. Saving my pennies. TV will pay me well, you wait and see. Northcote or Thornbry's looking pretty nice to me. I will have lots of garden parties.

Hmm this all sounds very Willy Loman, grand plans and going in circles.

Anyway, Lot's of work to be done. Blogs must wait.

Love, love, love

Djali.

PS Nanashi - Japanese yes? Is that the name of your samuri? Is that what Yoshi came up with for 'no one' or 'nameless'?

falling asleep at desk now...

2005-10-22T20:48:00.000+09:30

Fuck fuck frickenfriggen fuck! It's saturday night, im 22, why am i at home?! this is dumb. I don't want to write a book review about a book about ethnographic documentary films and how shit they are. I don't want to write about South Africa, gender, modernism and crazy Bessie Head.(I'm tired of reading writing that doesn't make sense and particularly of characters that don't even exist to the author in the relm of the narrative) I don't even want to write about 'The Office' and how Ricky Gervais is probably a bit of a comic genius. (what's the use? WHAT"S THE USE?!)

& i don't want to go to work tomorrow...stupid cafe that is too cool for school, that's why no one comes.

I just want to dress up like a pirate and go to a party and not come back...and i think i just missed my last oppotunity...I grow old, I grow old...
errr... very tired...

Oldies but Goodies

2005-10-18T15:51:00.000+09:30

Team Planet

Gourmet Night

We went to the beach

K Power did all the driving

K got a taste of STROH...I was little afraid of STROH

The Boys made Donnie Darko references in the sand...I made myself small and got windswept.

On the way home blue-glitter Corvet-man waved at us.

I've been missing you guys. Let's do this again sometime:

Ta-Ra!!

2005-10-15T21:43:00.000+09:30

because i can. HA!

ewww

2005-10-15T18:53:00.000+09:30

Such a misbehaving, overly-defensive, self-righteous little witch aren't I...ohwell.

ok ok!

2005-10-13T20:16:00.000+09:30

I'm sorry, I'm kinda busy just at the moment and my head is hurting because I left it somewhere else. Just give me a week or two and I promise you will be stupefied by the content of my blog. I already have plans to post pictures of my feet and list everything I've had to eat. (Att. Susanne: nobody cares that you ate sushi on Friday)

...actually no...I'm sorry to lash out at you like that Susanne; I think you're kinda cool for a self-confessed vegetarian, Garden State viewing, "Everything by F. Scott Fitzgerald etc.", undergraduate cheese and wine connoissuer...hmm sounds a little like me but without the meat....errr getting off track. I was where?

Bevis, I'm sorry you find it hard to grasp the sense of self-deprecating humor or irony or nonsense, I realize now the glue could not have helped you anyway.

Now, there's a passing flock of birds i must take advantage of...

2005-10-04T22:54:00.000+09:30

I don't actually need to write anything do I? Being founded on such marvelous ideas of mine, this thing really ought to just write itself!