How we ended up in Beat Mag

And Lost all our Scene Points.

Not last weekend but the weekend before Luke, Simon, Rob and I went to Ffour.
Let me explain.
We had just triumphed in the kitchen over a chicken hotpot; we had emptied a box of goon; we had no money and nothing to do, Simon had heard the DJ's might be good; Rob's sister works there; I had never been to a real clubby club before and it was about time I was initiated.

We got in for free.

I was dressed completley inappropriatley. I quickly learnt that there is a uniform and my faithfull Chucks and Lee jeans were not a part of it. Shiny leopard print or pastel dresses were and heals are mandantory. Not that much attention is given to pale and freckled brunnette girls when among a flock of blonde and orange. This worked fine for me. I cannot say much for the gentlemen attending other than their arms were about as thick as their heads and all seemed to be taking part in a bucks night. We were later invited to join them at Spermint Rhino but by that stage some of us could barely see anyway.

We drank for free.

The music was mostley bad house and the crowd was boring themselves so we thought that if we just got really drunk we might be able to convince ourselves that this experience was enjoyable... We ended up throwing ice cubes from the windows down at passing pedestrians and exclaiming, " I hate you and everything you stand for!".*

We got invited into the club's offices and secret back room by a mysterious man in a black hat.

After a few more vodka sodas I lost Simon and went to the girls' toilets to watch a distressed girl struggle in her heels on the tiles, held up by her equally inebriated friend and slur "I paaaaid fiffffteen dollars to get in ear, goddamnit I'm gonna stay have fun!". I later found Simon abusing/praising (it was hard to discern) a DJ for being better than the guy on the main floor and for putting up with being put in their crappy second room.

We left just after this happened:







Social Death.






*Simon says we never actually yelled this but merely whispered it to each other, however, I prefer my version.

This is the End

My good friends are being thrown out of house and home and the world is coming to an end.
Therefore I take great delight in this opportunity to dress-up as a raven and inform all good bloggers of this:



Yes, the flyer is a bit ugly but let me assure you we are all very attractive people who just want to be your friends.

Reasons you should join us:

• Our parties are always the best in Brunswick
• The geatest underground Melbourne DJ's will be playing underground
• There is a dungeon
• There might be a jumping castle
• This is the last time we do this and it's certainly something to tell your grandchildren about
• Trust me

It's the Apocalypse so please dress accordingly.

Ronan, I know you probably have Goonlight that night but perhaps you could come afterwards?