Kidnapped

It's a little motif that's been running through my life lately. People seem to want to take me places these days and I'm not used to being taken. Today I'm being taken to the zoo by a boy who looks a little like Harry Potter...well he has blond hair and tatoos but asides from that...maybe if you shut your eyes. Anyway both his parents are magicians and I like animals and magic so it's hard for me to say no.

Went to see The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe yesterday, even though it is for Christians. Goddam that lion is wonderous, I just want to hug him, and Tilda Swinton's hair looks better than ever, but above all: Mr Tumnus is sexy. Unfortunatley the children were a bit annoying, somehow Lucy managed to ruin huge chunks of most scenes with her smartarse comebacks and general air of goody-two shoes smugness. Peter is a knob. But Edmund was much more likeable than I imagined from the books, perhaps just by comparison with the others and perhaps just because he looks like a long lost brother of mine. Leigh pointed out that this film must have been difficult to make since they have worked with both animals and children at the same time, often in the same scene. However I think the children we CGIed in later in some post production trickery.

I caught up with a lot of relatives on Christmas day. Lot's of people are having babies at the moment. I got invites to stay in places all round the world. London sounds exciting but I'm a bit dubious about Dubai. I also got news about family members that I missed in the papers. My cousin's husband was nearly kidnapped in Afganistan a few days ago, while flogging some satellite communications stuff while in the city. Strange men drove into the back of his car and chased him. But he had some British armed guards of some description with him that got out of the car and apparently fired a few shots and scared them away. Some people say "wow, exciting stuff happens in your family", but I think I could do with a little less excitement.

Polly Parties are Good. And I'm not particularly interested in grammar at the moment.

People get very friendly. So I made a lot of new friends. I talk nonsense to Enzo and he doesn't mind, in fact I think he likes it. Murray is always a cowboy and a perfect gentleman simultaneously. Dave recognised me from a Radiohead concert that was a long time ago. Wow, ego boost. Seth is back in town and wants to take the boys sailing, hope I get an invite even though I'm a girl. I'm a good sailor you know. Runs in my blood. I met Adam at his 25th birthday party, he lives in a converted pub. There is a well in the cellar for some reason. Everyone went to the Eltham Fruitbowl when they were 14-15 except me. Everyone seems to have an enormous tv from the sixties except me. There is lots I don't have at the moment. Cookie is getting married soon.Hooray for Cookie. Matt is leaving Polly very soon. Boo for Matt, well not really...well yeah actually a bit. Hannah is very generous and looks after you when it all gets too much. Let's you stay in her house and you don't even have to ask. She's also the perfect host, and smiles at you in the morning no matter what you look like. She hosts a Ladies Day every Monday, I want in. Tom is kind too. Poor Tom got very tired and had to have a lie down on the floor behind the bar. Must stop assuming friends are dead just because they aren't answering their phone. There are other possible explanations. Just because you think you can moonwalk doesn't necessarily make it so. Rolling spliffs is much easier than people make out. But it's nice when people regard you highly at parties for such a learnable skill. Some rabbits are quite sociable. It is possible to survive a few days on nothing but beer, wine and various spirits and cocktails. But it starts to hurt after a while. Chin up, there'll be more tonight.

Diana of the Hunt

A quiet weekend. Mum showed me the Koran of diet books, the CSIRO diet. I've been trying it for fun. It's been three days now, but I'm finding it hard to keep up, I just can't eat that much. Also you are only allowed two glasses of wine a week. Mum says she'll be going by her own interpretation. Dad's interpretation seems to be something along the lines of replacing allowed food units with units of wine. Says he's been feeling very good lately.

Apart from observing this new religion I've been pretty sensisble lately.

But then somebody threw a pizza at my car on Friday night while I was working. A blatant personal attack that rocked my sensibilities somewhat.

On Saturday while washing the pizza off my car Leigh and Kim turned up. We sat in the sun drinking tea and observed how once again we were not at Meredith. We discussed Lily's film, her general brilliance at everything and how she is "one to watch" according to The Age (Lily, we are watching you). The issue of a cat outshinning us in life was also brought up but not elaborated on.

Leigh reckons he'll start a Mediocrity Club.
I wrote the manifesto:
One must not achieve...Much

But Leigh says I can't join. Nice guy.

I had dinner at Cara's mum's house. Mad and Simon O came too. We all got to hear Cara's voice for the first time in a long time. Hello Cara. One day of undergraduatness left hey? Congratulations, most smart and accomplished cookie X.

Was working for the boss on Sunday again. He had a Christmas party for his family at the bar. His aunty is Elaine McInnon, so I kept my eyes open, but saw no famous people. So I broke a latte glass, somebody yelled, "taxi!", boss yelled, "centrelink!", and I got scared.

The boys came round again and took my mind away from such dark possibilities. We saw Harry Potter. I didn't understand much but it did make me go blank for a bit. CGI overdose. And I wanted to hear more about the dragons. Apparently, there are books to read and 3 more movies to be watched. I guess I was a little under researched for the subject.

Highlight of the weekend: A possum kissed my toe.

When the movie was over Kim found a wand and picked it up.
I lit a cigarette and we all saw something move in the distance. Something rat-like in the carpark. It was my mission to touch it. The boys stood back, I was fearless. Kim yelled "No, be careful!" and the rat turned into a baby ringtail possum.
Leigh warned, "Those things can be vicious."
I called over my shoulder, "Don't worry, I've done this before."

And the possum kissed my toe.

Nothing to read here.

No new thoughts
Forgotten old ones.

Just a few small hopes for the day.

Let's clean up this mess.
Put on dress
Take an armful of fresh herbs to the boss
See if you can make him smile
After meandering through bookshop reading first sentences
Actually buy a book
Finish overdue Fawlty Towers essay
Make a Waldorf salad
Finish and post psycadelic rock mix to Xara
Run with the whippet along the aquaduct
Start scheming how you will win those tickets to the Wolfmother gig at the Corner
Consider offering sexual favours to whoever answers the phone at the radio station
Or whoever is on the door that night
Nah, need to save it for the band
...
Stop fantasizing
Put on dress
Harvest herbs
Wish me luck

Some degree of Kevin Bacon

This blog brings people together.

It has been revealed that


James

has met


Simon

Wow!

Community Service Annoucement

Dirty Pretty Things has a gig!


Come support them support Motor Vehicle Sundown and Fur Patrol @ the Old Bar on the 9th of December.

They are the original. Preceded the film they clearly inspired.

They are very dirtypretty.

They are very gifted, musical things.

I might be there, so stalkers this is your head start.

This is for Simon O

Not too long ago AC/DC Lane was mentioned in conversation at Rue Bebelons. I forget why, All I remember is that I interupted with something about bloggers and Knifey and then someone might have interupted me with something sarcastic like "Boggers? Ha!". Or maybe they didn't and maybe everyone just sat there silently while I banged on with "Did you know, that according to Knifey, stencils are out and post-ups are the next big thing to hit the backstreets?!" And then maybe a tumble weed rolled past.

Well Simon O, I thought you might be interested, so here's Knifey!

My life is a mess, my hair is a mess, ohwell.

Greg was 22 on the 22nd, how excitment! And to celebrate we went out last night and did stuff, all on whims - which i think is the best and only way to do things in this current emotional climate. Much of the best cannot be blogged or captured on camera because it is of the stuff that dwindles the moment you touch it...or maybe I just dreamt it.

At some point Greg may have expressed a desire to go the the St Andrews Pub for a parma.*

We went to the Short Crap Film Festival @ Loop. Some films were actually crap, but they were all short.

We went to Ding Dong (mostly because I had never been before and something had to be done about that), it was quiet, maybe because the band sounded like Creed or maybe cos it was Wednesday. A shot of Jaeger brought tears to my eyes. I walked into the boys toilets by accident (seems to be happening to me a lot lately), nothing lewd happening like at Revolter so this time I just turned around and went to the girls.

Greg and Kylie began to make the long trek home at a sensible hour - work in the morning & post exam stress.

Kim and I decided we needed more. We went to Polly for a change. People there claimed that I went to school with them, they seemed to know a lot about the school and kim and i so i took their word for it. One of them was doing magic tricks. By this stage drinks seemed to be coming fast and out of nowhere (oh, except, of course, for the drinks that you, leigh, poured for me, i always notice those) so i asked if they could make themselves disapear, and you know what? They did.

I met the gorgeous Kate. And when i did she said "Finally", which I thought was such a nice thing to say that I think it deserve a mention.

I flipped my first bird ever, but only cos Brad asked so politely. It was a night of firsts.

Then it got ugly. I found myself behind the bar in a scottish accent. It was at this point Leigh decided it was time to take me home.

Zoooooooom, I think we flew home. Ani was very loud, we were very loud. We flew home smiling and singing, kicking and squealing. I pronounced that "Fuck You" was my favourite Ani song, i don't know why. Somehow one last bottle of beer made it with us into the car.

Then I crash landed home and these were the last words i wrote:

" I smash home as if I weren't.
The door slides,
I don't feel that I would choose a door
that slides.
My ears are full,
brimming and ringing,
Mind packed with cotton wool.
I am not here
by choice
I see
and I see my handwriting.
Would I really choose this style?
How much of this is mine?
...I think i will be sick"

GENIUS

See I always knew there was a poet in me somewhere, i was just never drunk enough...no, I was.

Ha XX

*Sorry greg, maybe when it's not your birthday.

And now for something completely stupid

AFTER THE FORMAL AFTER-PARTY
BY CARA


Police
mer mer mer mer
no Scott
lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop
I'm going to take all my music to Alice's party
ok
we can finally have something worth listening to
yeAH
I love snoopy
easy steps
I quit
I QUIT
I think i've played it before
ruby
jenni can control the heating in her room
it heats up EVERYTHING
cleopatra
elizabeth taylor
jennifer amanda walsh
lauren maree sharp
cara elise schultz
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
merity mer mer mer
I'm going to the zoo for my birthday
hey hey hey
why?
ok
I am so tired
i've never been so drunk in my life
NOT
I want a lesbian candle
in purple
quoi?
meep
meep
meep
let's not rehash it
gumnut baby
get in my belly
mo, momomomomom
wally bob
@start.com.au
narnee noo
I want solitaire
cos it was a pub and we were in grade 6
we had lunch outside
fat and scary men
that's the country for you
beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer
the drunken mistakes of our past
at least you got some
lurrrvin
police
that's what I think
I do not think therefore I am a moustache
I had a good time in the limo
she has issues
no one will have done it
brr
no don't walk
far too much effort
freaky chesty thing.

The Jenni Penny

Or

The Jepenny

Or

A Very Shaggy Dog

© 2001: First appeared on a scrap of paper, in a high school of the northeastern suburbs, one lunchtime.




Once, a girl named Jenni decided to create a new form of currency. She told her friend with much excitement, “Cara, I’ve just made a jepenny!”

This sparked the beginning of a revolutionary revolution that became known as the Revolutionary Jennifernization Revolution. This was a process similar to the Balkanization in Yugoslavia and parts of Indonesia (apparently). When Jenni heard this amazing fact, she said, “Wow!”

The jepenny consisted of only one small coin, thus making it one of the most highly sought after collectors’ items in the history of the world. Only having one coin in a currency is crucial to understanding the fundamental existentialism of Jenni’s ideology*. Within this ideology, Maths, numbers, time and anything sensical or linear is considered “Bad!”, however, this “badness” can only ever be understood as subjective, as Jenni’s friend, Cara pointed out.

Surely the very meaning of your ideology is centred around personal choice and hence this dismissal of maths and science as “bad” is perfectly in line with this. “Sorry” Cara said, “I Just argued my own point and yours simultaneously, freakshow!”



*Jennism, similar to McCarthyism in Cold War America

Just one last snap before you go.

Cara Xara, for all your tales of travel and adventure, let me put it into the words of Collette's Japanese exchange student: "I envy you!"

Reply

Nanashi X,

What a nice name. Thank you, thank you. You keep me going. I just wandered off away from my desk for just a mo came back and there you are. Thank you for keeping a boat for me.

I started making plans for a hopeless film I will one day write and make Simon help me produce. I have quite a few nice scenes in my head but it's all Garden State esq (very disjointed and undeveloped - crap) and without the Hollywood wrap-up ending that seems to be provisional. Involves a lot of emprisonment behind pool fences and other suburban atrocities. If people say it's boring I'll justify it by saying that it's meant to be.

That fuck-off awful party shop replacing Liquor Land on the most prominant corner. I know, I know! Is this really what people want? Maybe. I think it's time to go.
I have grand plans. Thinking I'll be all grown up and moved out by June. Saving my pennies. TV will pay me well, you wait and see. Northcote or Thornbry's looking pretty nice to me. I will have lots of garden parties.

Hmm this all sounds very Willy Loman, grand plans and going in circles.

Anyway, Lot's of work to be done. Blogs must wait.

Love, love, love

Djali.

PS Nanashi - Japanese yes? Is that the name of your samuri? Is that what Yoshi came up with for 'no one' or 'nameless'?

falling asleep at desk now...

Fuck fuck frickenfriggen fuck! It's saturday night, im 22, why am i at home?! this is dumb. I don't want to write a book review about a book about ethnographic documentary films and how shit they are. I don't want to write about South Africa, gender, modernism and crazy Bessie Head.(I'm tired of reading writing that doesn't make sense and particularly of characters that don't even exist to the author in the relm of the narrative) I don't even want to write about 'The Office' and how Ricky Gervais is probably a bit of a comic genius. (what's the use? WHAT"S THE USE?!)

& i don't want to go to work tomorrow...stupid cafe that is too cool for school, that's why no one comes.

I just want to dress up like a pirate and go to a party and not come back...and i think i just missed my last oppotunity...I grow old, I grow old...
errr... very tired...

Oldies but Goodies

Team Planet


Gourmet Night


We went to the beach




K Power did all the driving


K got a taste of STROH...I was little afraid of STROH




The Boys made Donnie Darko references in the sand...I made myself small and got windswept.


On the way home blue-glitter Corvet-man waved at us.


I've been missing you guys. Let's do this again sometime:

Ta-Ra!!

because i can. HA!

ewww

Such a misbehaving, overly-defensive, self-righteous little witch aren't I...ohwell.

ok ok!

I'm sorry, I'm kinda busy just at the moment and my head is hurting because I left it somewhere else. Just give me a week or two and I promise you will be stupefied by the content of my blog. I already have plans to post pictures of my feet and list everything I've had to eat. (Att. Susanne: nobody cares that you ate sushi on Friday)

...actually no...I'm sorry to lash out at you like that Susanne; I think you're kinda cool for a self-confessed vegetarian, Garden State viewing, "Everything by F. Scott Fitzgerald etc.", undergraduate cheese and wine connoissuer...hmm sounds a little like me but without the meat....errr getting off track. I was where?

Bevis, I'm sorry you find it hard to grasp the sense of self-deprecating humor or irony or nonsense, I realize now the glue could not have helped you anyway.

Now, there's a passing flock of birds i must take advantage of...

I don't actually need to write anything do I? Being founded on such marvelous ideas of mine, this thing really ought to just write itself!