Does save me a fortune on mobile phone costs though. All the small essays I send people via sms can now stretch even longer and costs much less. And it's sort of good for when I decide to lock myself up for a few days of serious study and writing. Good for lessoning the guiltache of loneliness brought on by self-impossed isolation. *Poke*, oh, suddenly I still feel a part of it all.
But it's a little pathetic and unheatlhy. Most unproductive activity I think I have ever taken up since I reencarnated my entire family in the Sims and developed a steamy realationship with Xanana Gusmao in Sims Hot Date. It was really lovely while it lasted but now that's over sometimes I think that if I could have the summer of 2003 back I'd like to spend it differently.
Sometimes I really do feel a little overloaded and dumbed out by it all. Like I'm missing out on some bits of realness. Sometimes I feel like Morvern Callar with her sunglasses on and walkman taped to her while she disembodies her dead boyfriend in her bathtub. Sometimes i feel like I'm lost in space. It would be nice to be able to step back from all this buzzing information space and just be a little more conscious of the physical world for while.
It would be nice also then, to be able to contribute something to the real world. Maybe I'd like to build my own story rather than live inside all these other peoples' rent free.
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Oh god, I do write an awfull lot of inane wank don't I?!
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